Found out at my appointment with Dr. F. today that I will be starting chemotherapy some time in July. Because I am her2neu positive and the tumor was over 5mms, I will get the best results from chemo followed by radiation. There is a new drug that significantly reduces the risk of the cancer returning. I am all for that, so I will begin treatment as soon as I get some blood drawn tomorrow and get a call to schedule a CT scan, bone scan and MRI. Dr. F. will review the results and schedule me for chemo. Scary stuff, but it must be done.

I've had anxiety all day worrying about this appointment tomorrow with Dr. F. He is the radiation oncologist and will review the pathology report with Ron and me. He will determine if chemotherapy is needed before radiation. I pray for radiation only.

I haven't taken microgestin (estrogen) for 3 nights now. I hope that I will not get a migraine headache. Last month it lasted for about 6 days when I didn't take it. I have the pre-migraine sensation in my head. It's hard to describe. I think I will take indomethacin again tonight to avoid a migraine. It seemed to work last night.

I'm also anxious about the doctor's suggestion to stop taking microgestin. Ever since I was told that my breast cancer was being "fed" by estrogen, I've worried about the effects of being taken off of the medication. My gynecologist prescribed is continuously last year to avoid migraines. Quite the dilemma.

It's Saturday and I have to wait another 4 days to find out from my medical oncologist if he suggests chemotherapy before radiation. A little nerve-racking. Just trying to be patient.

I had a follow up appointment the other day with Dr. W's nurse, Mary, while Dr. W. is on vacation. The incision looked fine. I mentioned the numbness and she said that sometimes there is nerve damage from surgery. And to take ibuprofen if needed. I asked her what the size of the tumor was and as she looked up the pathology report found out that it was 2.5 cm (about 1 inch) and 5 lymph nodes were removed! 2 sentinel nodes and 3 additional. That was news. I made another appointment with the surgeon, Dr. W. a week after the oncologist.

Just have to wait and see what treatment I will need. Let's hope for the least amount, yet I definitely do not want the cancer to return.

Surgery day came and went, starting on Wednesday, June 12, at 6:30 at Mercy Hospital. To prepare, I was taken to Nuclear Medicine in a wheelchair for Sentinel Node Location. I laid on a narrow platform in front of a what looked like an MRI machine. The area around my right nipple was sprayed to freeze it before 3 injections of dye. A strange sensation, both the freezing and the injections. A bit uncomfortable, but tolerable. I massaged it in with a warm wet cloth for 10 minutes or so. Then I was moved under a plate that rotated to my side for the best angle. A doctor and nurse marked my skin with a black Sharpie where they believe the 1st lymph node was located. Then I was taken back to my room by wheelchair to wait for surgery.

To my surprise, my mom and sister, Barb, came to the room to wait with us! That was nice. I didn't think I would see them until after it was over. Then Sue popped in just in the nick of time! Before long I was being taken to surgery. Don't even remember being anesthetized. They gave me a sedative before that.

When I woke up in recovery I was babbling to the nurse. I believe it was 11:20 AM. I ate ice chips and sat there until around noon. I was finally taken back to my room and got to see Ron, Mom and Barb. They were amazed that I seemed so well. I felt fine and was ready to go home.

I kept ice on (and off) for the day and took hydrocodone only twice. It gave me a headache, so I just took Tylenol after that. Then tried naproxen. Not a bad recovery.

Tomorrow's the big day. Lumpectomy. I'm pretty calm this evening. I just hope I get a good night's sleep and don't wake up in a panic. I posted a message on Facebook and got so many comments. Lots of encouragement and prayers. So nice to read. Also a couple of instant messages from some breast cancer survivor friends of mine. Now I am going to bed to read. Wish me luck!!!

4 days until surgery. We decided to go out of town this weekend. No use missing out on some fun! Ron, Tom, Steve & Steve and I are headed to one of our favorite places; Louisville, KY. Churchill Downs, here we come! St. Louie Slew is running on Saturday. I have to take my mind off of cancer for a day or two. The tumor is a strange feeling. I'm super-conscious of it when I sleep. I received a care package from my sister-in-law's sister, Janine, from Camdenton, MO this week. In it was a heart shaped pillow (for under my arm after the lumpectomy) a book (Chicken Soup for the Breast Cancer Survivor's Soul), seek-n-find book, pen, pencil, notebook, lotion, Germ-X and playing cards. The card was from her and her breast cancer survivor friends and their phone numbers. SO sweet! We also received some frozen foods to make next week from Tom Fischer and his wife Sandy. Another very kind gesture. I feel the love. Thank you, God, for friends.

5 days until my lumpectomy. It's hard to wait, worry and wonder. Ron and I went on a nice 2 mile walk tonight at Route 66 State Park. It was a beautiful night. We decided to go to Louisville, KY this weekend to see St. Louie Slew run at Churchill Downs. Why just sit at home waiting, worrying and wondering if I can on a road trip with some great friends? Not sure what the future holds as far as radiation, chemotherapy and medication. I have to enjoy things while I'm feeling good!

Today I received a call from the Dr. S.W.'s nurse who asked all the pre-op questions. She went through all of my current medications and told me what I could and couldn't take the week before surgery. She also gave me all the instructions that will also be mailed, including not shaving under my right arm 1 or 2 nights before, cleaning with anti-bacterial soap (not bar soap, that could cause infection) the day of surgery, no deodorant, lotion, etc. It was a lengthy call, but very important. Now I just have to wait another 11 days.

Today is Friday, May 31 and a lot has happened the past few days. Wednesday was the MRI. I was a little anxious, but it went faster and smoother than I expected. I had to lay on the MRI table on my stomach with a breast on each side of a plastic divider. My arms were stretched out over my head like Superman. I was Superwoman and ready to conquer this battle. I had a headset on listening to the radio, but should have had the sound turned up. Once they started the machine the noise was louder than the music. I was pretty relaxed, considering the position. About 20 minutes later it was done. Results to come in a couple of days.

Thursday, May 30, I had another doctor appointment but this time with the radiation oncologist, Dr. S. He was young, handsome and very nice. He explained a lot and the unexpectedly said he already viewed the MRI results and it looked good. No other areas! This means lumpectomy versus mastectomy. Also that the lymph nodes looked good. Surgery will still require the removal of some, but they didn't appear to be cancerous. YEAH! That's what I've been praying for. I filled out a prayer for the prayer bowl on the table in the lobby. The more praying for me, the better. That's my motto.

Dr. S.W., my surgeon also followed up with a call to confirm this and I was soon scheduling my lumpectomy for Wed., June 12. I sit here at my computer on this Friday morning (5/31) not sure if I can wait another 12 days, but don't really have an option. I have to use this time to read a little more about what to expect (but not too ahead of myself). I need to think about the possibility of chemotherapy, hormone therapy, discontinuing my birth control pills (which are taken continuously to avoid migraines).... I'm trying to stay focused on the next step, but it's hard to know I have 12 days to think.

The Beginning

It all started on Tuesday, May 7, 2013. Just a regular annual check-up with my gynecologist, Dr. K. She gave me a printout to get a mammogram and said that I could either call the number to make an appointment or just go downstairs to the breast center and get it done then. It was the middle of the day and I needed to get back to work, but I knew that if I didn't go then, I would put off scheduling an appointment to come back. So I went down and 15 minutes later was out the door. I received a call a couple of days later saying that they saw an "area of concern" on my mammogram. I remember the technician asking for an extra scan on my right breast. Didn't even give it a second thought, but now I was. That evening as I was talking to Ron and said the words, "...It's on the right side." I put my fingers right on the lump. Almost under my right arm. I must have had a look, because Ron said, "Don't be a hypochondriac." I had him feel it and he said, "You're right." I was asked to schedule an appointment with Dr. S.W., a breast specialist on Tuesday, May 14. I went there alone and she showed me the mammogram. Clearly a white area about the size of a small grape. As she was talking and I was sitting in the gown on the table, I started the fainting signs. Yawning, clammy hands, then sweating. It dripped down my back, forehead and upper lip. Everywhere. They immediately schedule a biopsy for the following day. Scary, even at this early stage. I am naturally a worrier, so this wasn't easy. They were kind and gentle at the breast center in Mercy. Dr. O. performed the biopsy and I went through my fainting stages, but I was laying down, so I talked myself through it. I went home and followed the doctor's orders of icing the area on and off every 30 minutes for 6 hours to prevent bruising and swelling. I had both. I tend to bruise easily and always wondered if that meant I had a vitamin deficiency of some kind.

Well, the next day, 5/16, Ron had a colonoscopy scheduled that I needed to take him to. I was sore, but went back to work after lunch. So with another week to heal, I waited for the dreaded phone call. I received it, but was only asked to scheduled another appointment on Wed. 5/22 with Dr. S.W. I didn't even ask what the results may be because I figured they would have told me if it was good news. I was in denial. Wednesday May 22, 2013 was the day that I was told that I had breast cancer. Ron was with me and neither one of us had slept or ate. It was overwhelming, to say the least. More later....

I went home to digest the information I was just given. Called Shar at work, my mom and Sue. I needed the prayers to start rolling. I was too upset to start reading the folder of info that I was given. Briefly looked over the pathology report, but I wasn't easy.

That weekend we did what was planned. Family reunion at the park for Memorial Day weekend. BBQ in neighborhood. Only my family and close friends knew. I realized I had time to spread the word when I was ready. A few days later decided that I could use the support and prayers and posted a brief message on Facebook. At first there were no comments and I was anxious. A day later I realized that I posted it to a closed group of those designated as "close friends" or which I had none set up. I reposted on my wall and within 2 hours had over 60 comments. It warmed my soul and was exactly what I needed. Friends lending their help and kind words of encouragement. I didn't realize that I had so many.

Today I sit here at 4 AM on Wed., May 29, needing to get some sleep before work. I have an MRI scheduled for 1:30 PM today to determine if the cancer is in the one area that I can feel or spread anywhere else, such as the lymph nodes. Dr. S.W. called yesterday to say that she will be calling probably on Friday with an answer. Lumpectomy or mastectomy. Both are intimidating for me right now. So I wait and pray that I can lay still for the MRI and that my migraine doesn't come back at that time.