Today I received a call from the Dr. S.W.'s nurse who asked all the pre-op questions. She went through all of my current medications and told me what I could and couldn't take the week before surgery. She also gave me all the instructions that will also be mailed, including not shaving under my right arm 1 or 2 nights before, cleaning with anti-bacterial soap (not bar soap, that could cause infection) the day of surgery, no deodorant, lotion, etc. It was a lengthy call, but very important. Now I just have to wait another 11 days.

Today is Friday, May 31 and a lot has happened the past few days. Wednesday was the MRI. I was a little anxious, but it went faster and smoother than I expected. I had to lay on the MRI table on my stomach with a breast on each side of a plastic divider. My arms were stretched out over my head like Superman. I was Superwoman and ready to conquer this battle. I had a headset on listening to the radio, but should have had the sound turned up. Once they started the machine the noise was louder than the music. I was pretty relaxed, considering the position. About 20 minutes later it was done. Results to come in a couple of days.

Thursday, May 30, I had another doctor appointment but this time with the radiation oncologist, Dr. S. He was young, handsome and very nice. He explained a lot and the unexpectedly said he already viewed the MRI results and it looked good. No other areas! This means lumpectomy versus mastectomy. Also that the lymph nodes looked good. Surgery will still require the removal of some, but they didn't appear to be cancerous. YEAH! That's what I've been praying for. I filled out a prayer for the prayer bowl on the table in the lobby. The more praying for me, the better. That's my motto.

Dr. S.W., my surgeon also followed up with a call to confirm this and I was soon scheduling my lumpectomy for Wed., June 12. I sit here at my computer on this Friday morning (5/31) not sure if I can wait another 12 days, but don't really have an option. I have to use this time to read a little more about what to expect (but not too ahead of myself). I need to think about the possibility of chemotherapy, hormone therapy, discontinuing my birth control pills (which are taken continuously to avoid migraines).... I'm trying to stay focused on the next step, but it's hard to know I have 12 days to think.

The Beginning

It all started on Tuesday, May 7, 2013. Just a regular annual check-up with my gynecologist, Dr. K. She gave me a printout to get a mammogram and said that I could either call the number to make an appointment or just go downstairs to the breast center and get it done then. It was the middle of the day and I needed to get back to work, but I knew that if I didn't go then, I would put off scheduling an appointment to come back. So I went down and 15 minutes later was out the door. I received a call a couple of days later saying that they saw an "area of concern" on my mammogram. I remember the technician asking for an extra scan on my right breast. Didn't even give it a second thought, but now I was. That evening as I was talking to Ron and said the words, "...It's on the right side." I put my fingers right on the lump. Almost under my right arm. I must have had a look, because Ron said, "Don't be a hypochondriac." I had him feel it and he said, "You're right." I was asked to schedule an appointment with Dr. S.W., a breast specialist on Tuesday, May 14. I went there alone and she showed me the mammogram. Clearly a white area about the size of a small grape. As she was talking and I was sitting in the gown on the table, I started the fainting signs. Yawning, clammy hands, then sweating. It dripped down my back, forehead and upper lip. Everywhere. They immediately schedule a biopsy for the following day. Scary, even at this early stage. I am naturally a worrier, so this wasn't easy. They were kind and gentle at the breast center in Mercy. Dr. O. performed the biopsy and I went through my fainting stages, but I was laying down, so I talked myself through it. I went home and followed the doctor's orders of icing the area on and off every 30 minutes for 6 hours to prevent bruising and swelling. I had both. I tend to bruise easily and always wondered if that meant I had a vitamin deficiency of some kind.

Well, the next day, 5/16, Ron had a colonoscopy scheduled that I needed to take him to. I was sore, but went back to work after lunch. So with another week to heal, I waited for the dreaded phone call. I received it, but was only asked to scheduled another appointment on Wed. 5/22 with Dr. S.W. I didn't even ask what the results may be because I figured they would have told me if it was good news. I was in denial. Wednesday May 22, 2013 was the day that I was told that I had breast cancer. Ron was with me and neither one of us had slept or ate. It was overwhelming, to say the least. More later....

I went home to digest the information I was just given. Called Shar at work, my mom and Sue. I needed the prayers to start rolling. I was too upset to start reading the folder of info that I was given. Briefly looked over the pathology report, but I wasn't easy.

That weekend we did what was planned. Family reunion at the park for Memorial Day weekend. BBQ in neighborhood. Only my family and close friends knew. I realized I had time to spread the word when I was ready. A few days later decided that I could use the support and prayers and posted a brief message on Facebook. At first there were no comments and I was anxious. A day later I realized that I posted it to a closed group of those designated as "close friends" or which I had none set up. I reposted on my wall and within 2 hours had over 60 comments. It warmed my soul and was exactly what I needed. Friends lending their help and kind words of encouragement. I didn't realize that I had so many.

Today I sit here at 4 AM on Wed., May 29, needing to get some sleep before work. I have an MRI scheduled for 1:30 PM today to determine if the cancer is in the one area that I can feel or spread anywhere else, such as the lymph nodes. Dr. S.W. called yesterday to say that she will be calling probably on Friday with an answer. Lumpectomy or mastectomy. Both are intimidating for me right now. So I wait and pray that I can lay still for the MRI and that my migraine doesn't come back at that time.